Présentation

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ENGLISH

If a person starts telling you, whether in private or public, something that you already knew very well, you should pretend as if you do not know it. Do not rush to reveal your knowledge or to interfere with the speech.

Instead, show your attention and concentration. The honorable tab'i Imam Ata ibn Abi Rabah said: "A young man would tell me something that I may have heard before he was born. Nevertheless, I would listen to him as if I had never heard it before."

Khalid ibn Safwan al-Tamimi, who frequented the courts of two Khalifahs: Umar ibn Abdul Aziz and Hisham ibn Abdul Malik, said: "If a person tells you something you have heard before, or news that you already learned, do not interrupt him to exhibit your knowledge to those present. This is rude and ill mannered." The honorable Imam Abdullah ibn Wahab al-Qurashi al-Masri, a companion of Imam Malik, Al-Laith ibn Sad and Al-Thawri, said: "Sometimes a person would tell me a story that I have heard before his parents had wed. Yet, I listened as if I have never heard it before." Ibrahim ibn al-Junaid said: "A wise man said to his son: 'Learn the art of listening as you learn the art of speaking." Listening well means maintaining eye contact, allowing the speaker to finish the speech, and restraining your urge to interrupt his speech. Al-Hafiz al-Khatib al-Baghdadi said in a poem:

Never interrupt a talk
Though you know it inside out

Education---like democracy, free markets, freedom of the press, and "universal human rights" --- is one of those subjects whose virtue is considered self-evident. So is the superiority of the industrially advanced countries in attaining them. Consequently, any package that arrives with one of these magic labels on it, automatically qualifies for the "green channel" at our entry ports. No questions asked. This uncritical acceptance has severely crippled our discussion of all these vital topics. For example in education most of our discussion centers around literacy statistics and the need to have so many graduates, masters, Phd’s, and so many professionals --- engineers, doctors, etc.--- in a given country based on the standards in the industrially advanced countries. The central issue of curriculum, and even more fundamental issue of the purpose of education normally do not attract our attention; they have already been decided by the "advanced’ countries for us and our job is only to follow in their footsteps to achieve their level of progress.

Indeed they have. In the "first" world, education has become an extension of the capitalist system. Its purpose is to provide qualified workforce for its machinery of production and eager consumers for its products. Stated in a more polished form, the purpose of education is to provide for the economic prosperity of a country. Similarly on a personal level today the purpose of education is to be able to earn a respectable living.

While earning halal living and providing for the economic well being of a country are certainly important Islamic goals as well, the linking of education to financial goals is extremely unfortunate. It turns the centers of learning into mere vocational centers in their outlook and spirit. It degrades education and through it the society.

To bring home the pivotal but forgotten role of education we need to recall that there is a fundamental difference between human beings and animals. Instincts and physical needs alone can bring ants, bees, or herds of beasts together to live in a perfectly functioning animal society. Human beings do not function that way. They are not constrained by nature to follow only those ways that are necessary for the harmonious operation of their society. If they are to form a viable, thriving society, they must chose to do so. What drives that choice is the sharing of common goals, beliefs, values and outlook on life. Without a common framework binding its members, a human society cannot continue to exist; it will disintegrate and be absorbed by other societies. Further, the society must ensure that the common ground will continue to hold from generation to generation. This is the real purpose of education. The education system of a society produces the citizens and leaders needed for the smooth operation of that society, now and into the future. Its state of health or sickness translates directly into the health or sickness of the society that it is meant to serve.

Today we find many internal problems --- corruption, injustice, oppression, crippling poverty --- everywhere we turn in the Muslim world. If we think about it, we may realize that most of these problems are man-made. Which is another way of saying that they are largely traceable, directly or indirectly, to the education system that produced the people who perpetuate the problems. The rulers who sell out to foreign powers and subjugate their people; the bureaucrats who enforce laws based on injustice; the generals who wage war against their own people; the businessmen who exploit and cheat; the journalists who lie, sensationalize, and promote indecencies, they are all educated people, in many cases "highly" educated people. Their education was meant to prepare them for the roles they are playing in real life. And it has, although in a very unexpected way!

The problem plagues all layers of society. Why are Muslim communities in the grip of so much materialism today? What should we expect when our entire education system is preaching the gospel of materialism? Why have we effectively relegated Islam to a small inconsequential quarter in our public life? Because that is precisely where our secular education system has put it. Why in our behavior toward each other we see so little display of Islamic manners and morals? Because our imported education system is devoid of all moral training. Why our societies are sick? Because our education system is sick.

This is the real crisis of education. Before we got into this mess by importing from the Colonial powers what was current and popular, education in our societies was always the means of nurturing the human being. Moral training, tarbiya, was always an inalienable part of it. The ustaad,(teacher) , was not just a lecturer or mere professional, but a mentor and moral guide. We remembered the hadith then, " No father has given a greater gift to his children than good moral training." [Tirmidhi]. Our education system was informed by this hadith. Our darul-ulooms (Islamic education centres) still maintain that tradition but the number of students who pass through their gates is minuscule compared to the secular schools.

In the U.S. and Europe, the schools were started by the church. Later as forces of capitalism overtook them, they molded them into their image. Moral training was a casualty of that takeover. But capitalism and their political economy did need people trained to work under these systems. So citizenship training was retained as an important, though diminishing, component of the curriculum--- a religion-free subset of the moral training it displaced. Whatever civility we see here is largely a result of that leftover component. The imported versions in the Muslim countries, though, had even that component filtered out. And the results are visible.

We can solve our problem once we realize our mistakes. The first purpose of our education system must be to produce qualified citizens and leaders for the Islamic society. Tarbiya, real Islamic moral training, must be an integral part of it. This must be the soul of our education, not a ceremonial husk. All plans for improving our education will be totally useless unless they are based on a full understanding of this key fact. This requires revamping our curricula, rewriting our textbooks, retraining our teachers, and realizing that we must do all this ourselves. We do have a rich history of doing it. Are we finally willing to turn to our own in-house treasures to redo education the way it should always have been?



Who, What, Where, When, Why?

WHO makes small talk?

People with many different relationships use small talk. The most

common type of people to use small talk are those who do not know each
other at all. Though we often teach children not to talk to strangers,
adults are expected to say at least a few words in certain situations
(see where). It is also common for people who are only acquaintances,
often called a "friend of a friend", to use small talk. Other people
who have short casual conversations are office employees who may not be
good friends but work in the same department. Customer service
representatives, waitresses, hairdressers and receptionists often make
small talk with customers. If you happen to be outside when the mailman
comes to your door you might make small talk with him too.

WHAT do people make small talk about?

There are certain "safe" topics that people usually make small talk
about. The weather is probably the number one thing that people who do
not know each other well discuss. Sometimes even friends and family
members discuss the weather when they meet or start a conversation.
Another topic that is generally safe is current events. As long as you
are not discussing a controversial issue, such as a recent law
concerning equal rights, it is usually safe to discuss the news. Sports
news is a very common topic, especially if a local team or player is in
a tournament or play-off or doing extremely well or badly.
Entertainment news, such as a celebrity who is in town, is another good
topic. If there is something that you and the other speaker has in
common, that may also be acceptable to talk about. For example, if the
bus is extremely full and there are no seats available you might talk
about reasons why. Similarly, people in an office might casually
discuss the new paint or furniture. There are also some subjects that
are not considered acceptable when making small talk. Discussing
personal information such as salaries or a recent divorce is not done
between people who do not know each other well. Compliments on clothing
or hair are acceptable; however, you should never say something (good
or bad) about a person's body. Negative comments about another person
not involved in the conversation are also not acceptable: when you do
not know a person well you cannot be sure who their friends are. You do
not talk about private issues either, because you do not know if you
can trust the other person with your secrets or personal information.
Also, it is not safe to discuss subjects that society deems
controversial such as religion or politics. Lastly, it is not wise to
continue talking about an issue that the other person does not seem
comfortable with or interested in.

WHERE do people make small talk?

People make small talk just about anywhere, but there are certain
places where it is very common. Most often, small talk occurs in places
where people are waiting for something. For example, you might chat
with another person who is waiting for the bus to arrive, or to the
person beside you waiting to get on an aeroplane. People also make
small talk in a doctor's or dentist's waiting room, or in queues at the
grocery store. At the office, people make small talk in elevators or
lunchrooms and even in restrooms, especially if there is a line-up.
Some social events (such as a party) require small talk among guests
who do not know each other very well. For example, you might talk to
someone you do not know at the punch bowl, or at the poolside. It is
called "mingling" when people walk around in a social setting and talk
to a variety of people.

WHEN do people make small talk?

The most common time for small talk to occur is the first time you see
or meet someone on a given day. For example, if you see a co-worker in
the lounge you might say hello and discuss the sports or weather.
However, the next time you see each other you might just smile and say
nothing. If there is very little noise, that might be an indication
that it is the right time to initiate a casual conversation. You should
only spark up a conversation after someone smiles and acknowledges you.
Do not interrupt two people in order to discuss something unimportant
such as the weather. If someone is reading a book or writing a letter
at the bus stop it is not appropriate to initiate a conversation
either. Another good time to make small talk is during a break in a
meeting or presentation when there is nothing important going on.
Finally, it is important to recognize the cue when the other person
wants the conversation to stop.

WHY do people make small talk?

There are a few different reasons why people use small talk. The first,
and most obvious, is to break an uncomfortable silence. Another reason,
however, is simply to fill time. That is why it is so common to make
small talk when you are waiting for something. Some people make small
talk in order to be polite. You may not feel like chatting with anyone
at a party, but it is rude to just sit in a corner by yourself. After
someone introduces you to another person, you do not know anything
about them, so in order to show a polite interest in getting to know
them better, you have to start with some small talk.

Links :

http://www.biography.com 

http://www.sideroad.com

http://www.debrafine.com/

http://www.20daypersuasion.com/how-to-be-interesting-without-saying-a-word.htm

http://www.how-to-make-small-talk.com/

http://www.earthlingcommunication.com/conversation-skills.php 

http://www.wikihow.com/Have-a-Great-Conversation

http://members.aol.com/nonverbal2/entries.htm#Entries

http://www.dailymotion.com/relevance/search/annie+hall/video/x190n5_annie-hall-1977

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mq8bHKaH6Eo

http://www.reverendfun.com/ 

  
ANNIE HALL
 

Annie hall 1977

BARBARA WALTERS



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